My story should probably begin when I came to the Wellbeing Course at Heart of Scotstoun Community Centre, that was September 2022. I had started off Lockdown feeling quite happy about it, I was finding enough things to do, I was making a big banner, I was sewing and going for walks in the park. I thought it was lovely and quiet and peaceful. Then I agreed to receive telephone support from a befriender volunteer via the Whiteinch Community Centre. My volunteer befriender was Emelia, phoned me once a week on a Friday lunchtime. I then began to feel like I wanted to do something more with my time, as I was basically out of work and living on my own. I said to Emelia I would apply for care work and she encouraged me.
Struggling with Set-backs and Debt
Eventually after a couple of different interviews, I found a job as a care assistant in a care home, it really helped talking to Emelia as she was very nice and supportive throughout this time. I had online training to do and began work in the care home, only I was given night duty to do and this wasn’t what I had expected!
Then I was working at night, 3 nights a week and it was basically quite intense.
Although I enjoyed working I really couldn’t cope with sleeping at all funny times and feeling tired going into work at night. A situation built up at work and I was dismissed.
It had a knock-on effect, I felt as if no-one cared about me because this dismissal was quite sudden and I’d been trying my best to help individuals in the care home. I became careless with my final wage, I didn’t budget and I didn’t keep any rent money aside, so I fell into rent arrears. Quite soon I was really into debt but I spoke to my sister Lynn about this and I knew Maureen from Whiteinch Church, she was the new Christians Against Poverty Manager and Debt Coach. I said I would phone her and Lynn said I should. I felt quite shy and embarrassed in a way to phone and ask for this help. As part of the recovery process I was given a befriender who came to the CAP meetings with me when I had to talk about all the different bills I had and how they were advising I was going to manage them. Helen, my befriender, would go for walks in Victoria Park and she would encourage me to pray with her.
Coming to Healing for the Heart
I don’t know if this is too much of an explanation but I feel it’s all part of the reason why I came to Healing for the Heart. I was helping my mum once a week during the Lockdown and I began looking for a group or a class my mum might be able to go to, as my mum was becoming more isolated I thought, not going out much during the lockdowns, as a result of being told not to use public transport.
When I recognised Donna’s name at the Heart of Scotstoun Wellbeing Group, I phoned to find out about it.
Donna encouraged me to go to the Wellbeing Course and suggested for my mum to go to Tea and Talk on a different day. However, my mum wasn’t feeling keen to go somewhere new and unknown on her own, and so I began the course on a Monday. I was really in a vulnerable state when I look back I was recovering from being in a lot of debt and feeling quite lonely really although Helen was a great support. We had online church services but I hardly saw anyone else except through online things.
That’s when I met Natalie our tutor for Aromatherapy and others on the same course. Natalie helped me to phone my doctor and say how I was feeling to get a face to face appointment. Alana was a great, encouraging me to find the help I needed, for example phoning the housing office for me at one time to ask about getting new carpet I needed. I had lost my confidence because saying what was wrong and asking for help just didn’t occur to me to do, I was really stressed!
Made 4 More
It was from going to the other Healing for the Heart group Tea and Talk on a Tuesday which Alana told me about and encouraged me to go to, that I got to know about the Made 4 More course. It was the obvious next step to take, to do this course. I was seeing a work coach at my job centre every 2nd week but I was still supporting my mum and finding it difficult to cope with all of my life. I got low moods quite a lot.
I found the Made 4 More course challenging but it was good for me meeting other women and being part of this group. I found it challenging learning to speak openly in the group about my struggles. It was good to learn to do this though and know that you’re not alone in this. The other challenge during this time for the 12 weeks was feeling like I couldn’t afford shopping and travel each week. It got to the point that I was taking my shopping trolley to Made 4 More and going to the community grocery in town on that day.
However, when I’m looking back and thinking of all that has come out of this time it is very good. I found support with the Link Support Worker at my doctor’s practice and was able to speak to Bruce, the Link Support Worker, about my problems and how I was feeling. Later on that year my sister Jan came to a meeting with Bruce because of a time I had got upset with my mum when I wasn’t coping. Out of this, more came to light and we found out through talking to our mum that she felt she wasn’t coping well and would like more support at home with housework. My mum has a few different health concerns. We were able to help my mum apply for attendance allowance. Bruce helped with this as did Jan, my sister. This has all helped to bring us closer and in more communication with each other as we had been less communicative before. I think being part of the Healing for the Heart Made 4 More course has opened my mind.
How I Feel Now
I’m more open to new friendships than I was before and also finding ways to help myself. I’ve probably been helped and given more awareness since the subject of mental health is being spoken about more openly. I was quite shy about expressing myself before if I was suffering with low mood or anxiety now I realise I can get help, it’s not something to be shy about, it’s just part of being human!
Another very good result of the Made 4 More course was that my mum got attendance allowance, enough to pay me to come and help her for 4 hours during the week, on two days. That has helped increase my income and I hope is helping my mum cope better at home. As my mum is finding things more challenging.
